cold water
by AtLoLevad
Summary: After Jackson kicks her out of the apartment, Hayes finds herself outside of Conner Wallace's door. Post 1x04.


Not for the first time in her life Hayes Morrison finds herself standing at Conner Wallace's doorstep after a fuck up.

Hell, she huffs a wavery sigh, it's not even the first time this month. Wiping away the remnants of tears from her cheeks, she reaches out and knocks once, twice, three times. The staccato noise sounds like gunshots to her ears and she winces.

Footsteps, a "hang on, I'm coming", and then Conner Wallace opens the door. Hayes tilts her head, gives him a small shrug, "Hi."

He laughs a little, a wry smirk gracing his handsome features. "Come to resign again, Hayes?"

But his eyes twinkle and Hayes hates how her stomach flips at the sound of her name on his lips. She sucks in a breath and shakes her head.

"No," she says, "I figured resigning once a week was enough."

She shifts, her arm tightening around the - stupid, stupid - olive tree she had bough for Jackson. Conner's gaze catches onto the tree and his forehead creases in confusion.

"Is that -?" he gestures to the plant with a nod of his head.

"An olive tree," Hayes finishes for him, a sour note in her voice. "It was for Jackson. Since I messed up so badly."

He's quiet for a few beats, making Hayes' heart pound erratically. She's sure he's going to agree, that he's going to tell her that she fucked up big this time, to get out of his hallway just like he told her to get out of his office.

In fact, it's probably better that she leaves now, before he can reject her. She'll just get a hotel room, like she should have in the first place. Coming to Wallace was a mistake and Hayes doesn't have the emotional capacity to deal with why she came here, of all places.

"I'll just go..." she says.

"Not that badly..." he says.

They look at each other, silent now that they've spoken over each other. Conner sighs and steps aside, "Come on in, Hayes."

She shakes her head, stubborn and scared, "No. I don't...it's better if i leave."

Conner rolls his eyes, "You wouldn't leave my office when I asked and now you won't come in when I ask. You know, even you should have a limit on doing the opposite of what people want from you."

This. A gentle tease at her is what gets Hayes to smile, tiny but genuine, and step into Conner's place. This feels normal, poking at each other with no real heat. She hovers awkwardly in the doorway, olive tree still clutched in her arms. The door clicks shut behind her and Conner nudges her forward.

"Put the damn tree down, Hayes," he says, hovering just behind her. It's not lost on him that he was a total jackass to her in his office. Sometimes Hayes needs tough love, but he was wrong and now he's not sure how to broach that with her.

"What if I like holding it?" she shoots back quickly and Conner's about to argue with her when he sees that her eyes are bright, teasing, a little hurt. She's throwing his words back in his face.

"Good one," he says, deadpan. She puts the tree down and her purse, but her coat stays on.

"I _am_ sorry that you're being investigated because of me," she says quietly. Her voice is soft, but her face is firm, walls up as protection. Against being hurt, against dealing with her emotions, against him.

Conner knows (and, despite himself, loves) Hayes, knows the old and the new, the good and the bad, and he sees that she's truly sorry.

He moves to sit on the couch, runs a hand over his face, and pinches the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry, Hayes. The investigation isn't solely your fault. It's not," he says in response to the disbelieving look she shoots him. "I'm not getting into it, but there are other factors."

His voice is flat and he's keeping some things close to the vest. As close as they once were, they're not anymore and Hayes knows, God she knows, how important it is to keep some secrets.

She chews at her lower lip, pacing a little. She's a ball of nervous energy. Her chest feels tight and she wants to claw at her skin to relieve the pressure.

"Jackson kicked me out," she says abruptly and in lieu of acknowledging his admission about the investigation.

The lack of reaction from Conner surprises her.

"I figured it was something like that," he says.

"What was your first clue?" Hayes comments wryly, returning to her default sarcasm. "The fact that I'm in your apartment in practically the middle of the night or the fact that I'm carrying around a fucking olive tree."

It was actually the tear tracks on her cheeks and her red rimmed eyes, but Conner knows that's not what she wants to hear, so he says, "Yeah, the olive tree gave you away."

She shoots him a tight smile. "I knew he'd be mad. I didn't think he'd kick me out."

"We all have our limits," Conner says and it's not meant to be a dig at her, not meant to be caustic, but Hayes' eyes shutter and he knows he said the wrong thing.

"I'm sorry it's so difficult to be around me," she snaps, tightening her jacket and reaching for her purse. "I'll leave before you reach your limit."

"Dammit, Hayes," Conner jumps up from the couch and blocks her exit. "If I had reached my limit with you, I wouldn't have hired you."

Hayes shoots him a scathing look, "You hired me because you're in my mother's pocket."

Conner gets angry now. He straightens to his full height, seven inches taller than Hayes, and growls, "I hired you because i know you're damn good at your job when you want to be. Enough with the self-sabotage, Hayes. The act is getting old."

She doesn't flinch back from him, but her face doesn't relax either. Her arms cross around her torso, more protection.

"It's easier to sabotage myself than to let the world sabotage me," she says stiffly, aware that this is the most vulnerable she's let herself be since Chicago.

Conner knows not to push her any further. He sighs and scrubs a hand over the stubble on his chin. "Stay the night, Hayes. It's too late to get a hotel and I have a perfectly good guest room."

Hayes knows he's right. Jaw tight, she reluctantly nods. She lets out a shaky breath and quips, "No funny business, Wallace. I'll have you know the New Hayes is respectable and can't be caught in bed with her boss."

Conner rolls his eyes and strolls off down the hall to get the guest room ready.

Hayes finally exhales and lets herself relax while he's gone. She's shaky, from Jackson kicking her out, from being around Conner, from every curve ball life has thrown her lately. She sees the tumbler of something, whiskey probably, resting half empty on the coffee table and reaches for it. She downs it in one gulp, her nerves feeling a little steadier.

She can hear Conner muttering to himself, no doubt complaining about her, but there's something soothing about the noise. It reminds her a little of Chicago, but not enough that she's ready to run again.

Jackson may be beyond pissed at her, but this time she has her job and all the good it's doing in the world. She has a little black book full of men who can distract her.

"You're going to have to rough it and deal with only two pillows," Conner's voice breaks through her thoughts.

Hayes smiles a little despite herself.

Old Hayes and New Hayes at least have that in common – Conner Wallace in her corner.

* * *

 _A/N:_ And it's happened - I've entered a new fandom. It was inevitable, especially once Kavi started writing for them lol.

I know the title may be a little irrelevant, but the lyrics to the Justin Bieber song kind of reminded me of Hayes and Conner. Especially this part:  
And if you feel you're sinking,  
I will jump right over into cold, cold water for you  
And although time may take us into different places  
I will still be patient with you

So, the title. lol.

Let me know what you think! I can't wait to hear your feedback :)


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